To sell or not to sell...

... THAT is the question! Well, many of you know we've been thinking about selling our home for awhile now. In February we got a letter from UTA saying that they were interested in buying part or all of our property in order to put in a commuter rail and the proposed track would be in our backyard. We replied with a big hearty "No thank you!". We currently HAVE a railroad in our backyard and have no interest in having another one. However, this is an eminent domain case and so they can do what they want. But we will be compensated not only for the loss of property that they take, but also the devaluation of our home.

Well, then we found out more information and decided that we were going to sell our home for whatever we could get out of it and move into a nice beautiful home out by my Aunt. We found a great deal out there on a beautiful 7 bedroom home with a second kitchen in the finished walk-out basement on a huge cul-de-sac lot with unobstructed views of all of Utah Valley!

We did some research, talked to some lenders and felt really good about things. Peter talked with a friend of his and found a fabulous real estate agent who we could do some trade with. Things were falling into place and we still felt really good about things and I finally let myself get really excited about it. It was really going to happen...

Well we met with this real estate agent this morning (she's so wonderful and I highly suggest that anyone who is thinking about buying or selling a home call her first) and she proceeded to educate us about the reality of the market right now and how much money it REALLY costs to buy and sell a home. We then came to the sad realization that this is really a buyers market and not a sellers market. When we started talking about all of the other fees involved and she was very upfront with us and we realized that we'd be having to come up with a WHOLE LOT MORE money out of pocket than we were planning on. We had thought that we'd for sure have enough equity in our home to use it as a down payment on the new house and we have some in savings that could cover any fees for closing that house. Not the case in this market.

Anyway, we discussed several options and in the end, felt like we needed to wait. Wait until we'd been compensated from UTA, and wait until Peter's business is underway a little more. We still want to be out before they start construction of the UTA Frontrunner train and we still want to be out before we have another baby. And that actually may have to be pushed back as well. Many of you know that I suffer from a constant state of extreme baby hunger despite the chaos that surrounds me! And so the possibility of having to wait another year is a huge blow for me!

So yesterday I found out that we might not be able to have another baby for at least a year and a half and today I found out that we won't be moving into our dream house! *insert dramatic sob here*

For the first 15 minutes after we made the decision to wait I felt SO disappointed! I told Peter it was like the day that we went into the hospital to have Nathan. I'd been having constant contractions for 5 weeks and was dilated to a 4 and 90% effaced and absolutely miserable. My doctor told me on Friday that if I didn't have the baby before Sunday that I could come into the hospital and he'd induce labor and put me out of my misery. Well I woke up on Sunday morning and for the first time in 5 weeks had NO contractions! I didn't care. The doctor told me he'd induce me and I was going to have a baby that day! We got ready and left the kids with Grandpa Ehat and headed into the hospital. As soon as they checked me and hooked me up to the monitors and saw that I was having no contractions they told me they'd have to send me home. I was crushed. I had been promised by my doctor that I'd have a baby today and now I was going home again empty handed.

That's how I felt today. We'd worked out all of the details, done some research even done a face lift to the front of the house to get some more "curb appeal" and fixed up the inside and taken pictures and decided that we were going to do this. The real estate agent was coming to tell us what to list our house at and we'd have it on the market by Monday. And with any luck we'd move into the fabulous 7 bedroom home by Aunt Di in August. And then in a matter of minutes we decided that it wasn't right. We needed to wait. Maybe next year. But not yet. Not this house. Not right now.

*Sigh* I'm better now though. It's extremely disappointing still, but I love our home and I do feel so extremely blessed to be living in such a nice home and in such an AMAZING neighborhood with such FABULOUS people surrounding us. It has been such a huge blessing to be here and I know it will continue to be a blessing as we stick around for another year.

It's always amazing to me how the Lord works. The extreme disappointment and feeling of loss that I experienced this afternoon when we decided to wait, was dulled to a mere "Oh, shucks. That would have been nice", and is accompanied with peace and a hug of comfort letting me know that we are still in His hands and as long as we are faithful, we will be led in our decisions and be able to confidently do what is best for our family.

So, to those of you that I had excitedly informed of our fabulous house that we found so far under value that we were snatching up and moving into in August... Sorry, you'll have to put up with us a little longer!